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bring the authorities down on us? Would
things go on as they were, and if so, how would I get the money for
supplies? There was a limit as to how much could be sold from the
estate. Perhaps I could get a job in the city. But doing what? I had
no skills worth selling.
I sighed and buried my face in my hands, the tears coming
again, along with helpless sobs of pain and fear. I'd been charged
with taking care of him, and I'd failed. His father was probably dead
now anyway. His whole family was gone, most likely. No one would know
I'd failed him so. Only me.
I don't know how long I sat there, long enough that the night
chill soaked into my very bones. I was shivering when I sought my
pallet at last, still with no answers to any of my questions.
The next morning, I woke with a fever, and cursed myself for
the too-long excursion into the night air. I staggered into the
kitchen and made a brew of herbs and honey to fight the fever.
All day long, I chilled, unable to get warm in spite of fires
built high and hot drinks one after the other. When darkness fell, I
staggered to the garden and was unable to lift him, and him in too
much of a stupor to help himself, as he sometimes was. I pulled him
onto a rug and dragged it through the house to the baths, roll
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