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that was because I was
blindfolded. I wonder if ostriches really hide their heads in the sand
to feel safe. Of course not. Silly. My first and middle names together
translate roughly as "Not-rocket-scientist-who-is-stupider-than-
ostrich."
Safe is different from helpless, though, and I was helpless. Safe
and helpless. His kisses and caresses were nonsexual at first, and
comforting. I was warm and toasty, and realized that nothing was
required of me but that I keep my big fat mouth shut. Anyway, I
couldn't do anything in this position but passively accept whatever he
chose to do. I was not responsible for anything.
His kisses became warmer and I became more and more detached. Let
him kiss me, I thought. Let him do anything he wants. After what just
happened I don't have to do anything but lie here. My lips won't
respond to his. And they didn't. It was like I was there in the room
watching this happen to someone else, someone numb. He got under the
covers with me and his hands began to move over my body, his caresses
more sexual. He had undressed sometime after I was blindfolded. His
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