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t' got me into all
this that night when he visited me in Chicago and I agreed to leave
and to go with the List. It led me to take the next steps last night,
when I said to myself 'what the hell, what will it hurt to give him
what he wants and remove my pubic hair,' and later, 'what the hell,
I'll follow through with the whole bargain and live the part, what
difference will a month make?' Besides, I really wanted so much to
belong to him, and for him to want me to belong to him. So anyway, I
said 'Yes.' Okay?
At that word, I felt him relax behind me, and I knew he had been
relieved to hear the answer. I relaxed too, not because I was re-
lieved, but because I liked leaning back into him, letting him enclose
me in his arms.
Still standing behind me, he ran his hands over my body, up over
my breasts, lightly caressing my nipples through the filmy cotton,
down my front and between my legs. I moaned and pushed against his
hand, trying to send him the message: I am ready. He caressed more
firmly: I was getting wet again. He put one hand on my f
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