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l
scared of a future without my family, a future I did not know. And one
that hardly seemed to lead to here.
That night, as I settled down to sleep, I was to get my initiation in
another woman's arms. I had anticipated Cyl'Dia being the one. Yes, I
think anticipated was the correct term. I wanted to make love with her,
truly. I know that I was misunderstanding my need for protection, my joy
at being saved, with the painful sensuality Stuyr had awakened within me,
and I wanted to share myself with Cyl the only way I had known how for
month.
But no, it was Myr who started that. That first night as I lay in my
bed I was haunted by memories of the dead Stuyr, fearing his return from
the grave, the touch of his ghost, come searching for the girl who stole
his sex.
I must have made noise because I remember fighting a hand on my
shoulder only to wake up and find Myr kneeling by my bedside in only Yuka's
nightclothes. "Beth! Beth, you must wake up!"
"What?"
"Beth, you're having a nightmare! Wake up!"
I finally came to my sense, sitting up and taking stock. I was still
in the same place; most of the ligh
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